Dear mom's at the park who comment in jest about how perfect and well-behaved my kids are, and friends who come over and see a clean house and ask me when I have time to make it look so nice. It may look like I have it all together out in public, my kids are well behaved,and usually well dressed. I bring healthy snacks with me to the park, and try not to let them have more than an hour of screen time a day. They are healthy friendly and for the most part well adjusted. My house, is clean and I usually have a home cooked meal ready at 6 pm. But this is what you see on Instagram, Facebook, or out in public. What you don't see is the pile of clean laundry that never gets folded in the spare bedroom, the closet in the toy room I'm afraid to open because It has become a catch all for everything I don't know where to put (from. Holiday decorations, to clothes that don't fit the boys, to that ugly vase my mother in law got me at the flea market.) you don't see that sometimes when the baby wakes up at 6am and I didn't go to sleep until 2am I put blues clues on, stick him in the hight chair, and give him animal crackers while I lay on the couch and half fall asleep. You don't see that sometimes when xanderbug is completely inconsolable and screaming for seemingly no reason I give him a sippy cup with mountain dew because even though I know it's horrible, it makes him happy and sometimes I just need a minute to collect my thoughts and move on. You're not in the room with us when he wakes up from a nightmare at 3 am or is having a night terror and I'm rocking him in the recliner begging him to "please shut the fuck up" while crying myself. We present our self in the best light publicly. Not just moms but everyone. Weather it's overly filtered pictures on Instagram, statuses on Facebook, or just the way you present you and your family when you're out in public. Nobody wants everyone to know the bad and ugly parts of their lives. I've had friends ask me how I keep my sanity with out "me time", and the truth is I may not have as much "me time" as most of them(I don't work, I don't dump my kids on their grandparents unless I absolutely have to, and as much as I love him my hubby, if I leave them with him, it ends up just being junk food and TV... And I'm not a huge fan of that idea) sometimes I put them in the toy room, turn on transformers for troy, close the door and walk away. That half an hour or so is more than enough me time. Am I a good mom? I'd like to think so, but I am by no means perfect.
Sadly, people will always judge by aesthetics... its easier to make split-second judgments based on what we see than to get to know people, thus a lot of people won't take that time. Then you run into the problem of trying to explain reality to them, sharing the imperfections, and having their all-or-nothing thinking kick in and having them judge you... despite us all being humans and having flaws. When it comes to us all having flaws, most people tend to forget that once they want to judge the flaws of others. It's a lose-lose situation really. Also, I hope you don't mind me commenting on your blog. I'll be honest, until today I didn't know this blog site existed... then I had a run in with Cindybin and saw you commenting on a few of her crazy rants. Now I'm thinking of starting a blog myself (though not as creepy as hers). Lastly, being a mother sounds like a very rewarding yet very draining experience, one I hope to experience soon. As long as your kids are safe and content and the people who know you best see that you're a good mom, flaws and all. Nobody else's opinions matter.
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